12 days of gifts

Of course you need to adjust the gifts to your husband :-) Mine would be rather confused to get 12 golf balls :-D

Day 3 of spouse encouragement challenge:

Still - don't say anything negative to your husband. May your words be only kind and loving and appreciative and encouraging. Count your blessings, in him, and let him know you are aware of it, think about it, appreciate it.

Make a list of how your life is better because he's in it, and share it with him.

101 ways to say "I love you"

http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/101ways2sayiloveyou-husband

"Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength."

Women tend to keep score... and it's score keeping women always "win". The problem with this is that in the end you will feel used and unfairly treated, that he does "nothing" and you do "everything"... and that's not true.

Ok, so my husband is not good at cleaning, and keeping things in order. But he does most of the shopping. I hate shopping. So it's worth a lot for me.

He cooks, usually.

He takes care of me when I can't do that myself, sees that I take my medication, and other such things, and that is a big job, considering that I have fibromyalgia and I hate it, so I "forget" it.

He loves me and tells me all the time how beautiful and sexy and lovely and good and kind and wonderful I am, and that means the world to me.

I think one of the things that is seldom appreciated is that he's faithful to me. He is there for me, when I need him. Because of him I'm not alone facing the world. We are two in this. We are facing the world together, side by side, hand in hand... and because of that he deserves all the praise and gratefulness and love in the world. Frankly... I mean, just think of all the women you see in the tv, with cheating husbands, abusive husbands, no-good husbands... you're not one of them. Thanks to him. That's worth a lot. To me, at least :-)

30 days husband/wife encouragement challenge

I met my husband 1995. Four years later we got married. Now, after having been married for almost 13 years [the date is 6th of February... 18 days from today :-)] we still love each other, are in love with each other, and like each other and appreciate each other and are proud of each other... We have seen friends move in and out of relationships, but I don't see the end of ours.

So - what makes our relationship strong?

One secret of happy marriage is to understand that what we have is what we'll have in 10, 20 and 50 years. The fairytale of The Beauty and The Beast should be forbidden! You won't change the other, at least not consciously, manipulating, with intention. If you love each other, you will adjust your being to his/hers, and grow together, but the basic nature of each of you will be the one you were created with. This is why you should marry your best friend, and not the love of your life.

Another secret of happy marriage is to understand that people are pretty much the same. No-one is "The Right One", no-one will provide for all your needs and desires, no-one is perfect and flawless, and if you can't live with the faults and vices of "this one", the faults and vices of "that one" will become too much for you to live with too, one day.

Third secret of happy marriage is to get into it with the decision of that divorce is not an option. I'm not saying that you shouldn't divorce your spouse if he/she is abusive or destructive, but that you shouldn't divorce your husband because... well... he snores. He never takes garbage out. He plays videogames all the time. He watches porn. He has the most irritating manner of eating breakfast. He's working all the time. Such little details can be dealt with. Balthasar Gracian said something like "try to get rid of your vices, but if you can't, turn them into virtues".

Then you have to be ready to communicate. Don't have secrets from each other. Dare to talk about dumb things. Dare to be a human.
Laugh with each other. Often. At least once a day. Even when bad things happen, even when you're in pain, even whatever. Especially when bad things happen.

Also, there was a British tv show about how to train your husband (bring your husband to heel) which was canceled very quickly, because husbands are not dogs. But - the point with it is that positive enforcement works on humans too. We are animals just like all the other animals, and you train all animals best with rewarding them for right actions and NOT PUNISHING them for "wrong" choices. When it comes to human beings, we are intelligent animals and are capable of making right choices if we have the option. So - train your spouse by giving him/her options. Give him/her a chance to succeed in pleasing you. He/she is probably more than happy to do so, if you are willing to do your bit, and work on pleasing him/her.

Also, another thing, my husband has both ADHD and Aspergers, which results in that he's a bit obsessive when it comes to playing video games. He got a new game for Yule, and he's been playing it for the last month. I was complaining a little about being a "Skyrim Widow", and one of my co-workers said that he used to play a lot, but stopped because his girlfriend didn't like it. She thought he spent too much time with the game and not enough with her... so - today he told me that they were supposed to watch a movie together, but ended up with each reading their own magazine... because she read her magazine, and he didn't feel like watching the movie alone. So - she may ignore him, but he may not ignore her? WTF? One secret of a happy marriage is fairness.
I feel often that I'm always doing everything and my husband does nothing, but if we look at what he actually does... I have fibromyalgia, so there are days when I can't do anything but lie in my bed and cry. He brings me tea, painkillers, massages my feet and hand, makes me bath, hot or cold depending on what I want, and does everything he possibly can to make me feel better. I can't imagine my life without him. I can't imagine anyone else who would do that for me.
My husband also cooks most often, he shops, he takes care of the telephone and he does the laundry. He also takes care of all "fixings", like changes light bulbs and such things. So, in my mind he does his share of the household chores. In most families the husband also brings home most of the money.

So - 30 days spouse encouragement challenge.

Day 1

Don't say anything negative about your husband to him nor anyone else. Don't criticise, don't nag.
Say something positive about your husband to him and someone else. Praise him, tell him why you love him.

Two months later...

It's THAT time of the year again... you know, "war on X-mas".
I really don't know which part of it all amuses/amazes me most:

- Jews didn't celebrate birthdays or Midwinter, so Jesus and his disciples didn't celebrate birthdays or Midwinter. Both are 100% Pagan ideas. So - celebrating ANYONE's birthday, and especially on Midwinter day, cannot possibly have anything to do with Christianity and Jesus, what ever you name it.
It reminds me of that old mission tale: A missionary had Christened the Pagan and taught him he may not eat meat on Fridays. When he comes to visit his disciple on a Friday he sees him eating a steak of game... "What are you doing? Did you not understand that you may not eat meat on Fridays!?" "Of course I did. But I did like you did. I took some water, poured it over the animal and said "you are now a fish"."

- How upset all Christians are about associating Jesus and the cross... "Crossing out Christ"... :-D

- The ignorance of the meaning of X in Christmas

- How they keep writing Christmas with CHRIST while ignoring the MASS part... as most of these people vehemently claim Catholics are not Christians, and Catholics are the only Christians celebrating mass in the first place... :-D

So what would this coming Midwinter feast be without Christ? Exactly the same it is now, my dear. Just without the créches and angels and other Christianized  stuff. The warmth, the sharing, the kindness, the consideration, the loving and caring, being together, peace, love, hope, birth of light, charity, generosity... all that existed long time before the current reckoning began. 

What ever.

Yule is on 22.12 this year, at 5.30 in the morning. Sun will be rising at 8.44 here in Stockholm, and after just some 6 hours it will be setting.

It's about that time of the year...

It's about that time of the year... you know, when the "TRUE ORIGINS OF HALLOWEEN" hysteria breaks lose and every person defining themselves as TRUE Christian... I was thinking of writing to some of the worst and most influential ones and suggesting that instead of getting all hysterical and spreading the panic and bearing false witness against their neighbors, that they might actually BE true Christians and think about pretty things, like Paul told them to do.
Now... one of them actually went on and invented "Jesus-ween". Ween? Halloween is not "hallo-ween" but "hallow-e'en" - All Hallows' Evening. If the Usonian Christians came to the other side of the ocean to see how the European Christian - and they are not all Catholic, BTW - celebrate All Hallow's, in stead of inventing own stupid pseudoholidays, they wouldn't have anything to worry about, but nooo.... Now, all this is nice and so on, but of course they just HAD to say "Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters". *sigh* Arrogant, ignorant, egocentric idiots.


"In 2002, Pastor Paul requested 300 copies of New Testament pocket size Bibles to use for personal evangelism. A few days before Halloween, a word came to him to give out bibles to everyone knocking at his door expecting candy. On that day over 40 bibles were given out without him stepping out of his house. All it took was putting a bible into every bag as they opened each bag with a smile."I bet he became really popular and next year he gave even more pocket size Bibles to kids crowding his door ROTFLMAO! Good luck with "weening" the kids from candy. I'd suggest they prepare a lot of buckets, ecofriendly soap, brushes with long shaft and other such equipment for November 1st, the "Jesus-clean" day, when all these people need to wash off the eggs and toiletpaper from their homes and gardens.

Im surprised... this is probably one of the few strips that are true... The Sabeans worshiped the Moon God who married the Sun Goddess who gave birth to three Goddesses, who LATER BECAME IDOLS... The Daughters of Allah.
Do you know what an Arameic speaking person 2000 years ago would have called God? ʼĔlāhā
Do you know what Arabic speaking Christians call God? Allah
Argh, I need to get out of here!



I'm lazily thinking of writing my own tracks, but those Chick-fans would take that as a compliment, as they are all bigoted, xenophobic idiots.
Nevertheless, suffer through this: Big Daddy to enjoy more of this: Who's your daddy?

Here's Top 13 Pagan Comics
I like Oh My Gods! It seems you can't read them online anymore. I wish Shivian Balaris all the best in life and God speed with his further adventures in life. It was good seven years :-)

Portrait of evil
I get the same feeling in my guts as when dealing with demons and certain people calling themselves ex-witches...

"Christian cross can be considered a secular symbol of death"? No, it can't. Of course, the non-Christians can say anything, but it takes a Christian to be offended by HIS symbol being used as SECULAR to change things. Figures. >:->

“Every true, born again follower of Christ ought to embrace a Christian over a non-Christian.”
Yeah... The religious opinion of a political candidate trumps everything else. Beat your spouse and kids, kick the puppies, steal lollipops from kids, burn Qurans and flags, pee in an elevator, grope every member of the opposite sex you can reach, murder, steal, lie and curse, you're a good guy as long as you are a Christian... of the right denomination, that is. :->
What ever happened to "...without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status"? I mean... don't people UNDERSTAND the concept of xenophobic bigotry anymore? When did it became a GOOD thing to discriminate people who were different from you, something you're PROUD OF, a quality you actually acknowledge and embrace and that just might turn the public opinion on your side?
Now, political opinions I accept as grounds for deciding whom you vote, but religion? You know, if everyone would vote only the candidate that shares the race, colour, sex, language, religion, political opinion, national and social origin, property, birth etc, the next US president would be a Caucasian, Roman Catholic, Middle Class woman of about 38 years old, and she would be a Democrat...Let's skip the voting all together, and just choose a representant of the demographic majority.


If you have a good pumpkin recipe, go to "Becoming a witch" and post it in the comments.

2011 Countdown to Halloween
Halloween gone Heathen style
The REAL witches of Halloween
A Fanciful Twist Halloween Blog Party 2011
All Hallows Grim Blog Party
The Witches' Halloween Tea Party
31 days of Samhain

First Blood Pad Cake

I don't like menstruation. I would cut out my uterus if my gynecologist would allow that. HE starts talking about that we don't know what hormones do and those cannot be replaced with artificial ones and I'd get osteoporosis and other such nice things. *sigh* I think it's easy for HIM to say things like that. HE doesn't have to live through what I have to.


I had my First Blood in a very public manner... I was 13, the 7th grade was just turning to end, and the school had a bicycle trip. I had white pants and my brother's bicycle, so when I lift my leg over the rod, the red shone to the whole world - except me, of course. I found out only when I came home and went to bathroom. Nice. I have had cramps through these 30 years, post menstrual migraines about 20 years, mood swings, depression, anxiety... my husband talks about his dragon wife. I have PMDD and it's only getting worse as I age. PMDD is "premenstrual dysphoric disorder" and sort of super-PMS. I'm 42 and childless. You could really say I have been through hell once a month for nothing.

Menstruation is just bothersome, an obstacle in living an active life and it makes it really difficult to feel clean.

I suppose the only thing I think menstruation is good for, is that you get "free" blood, without anyone needing to die, for magical purposes, to be used in blood magic and spells and as offering to Gods.

Anyway, I don't like the fact that I hate the natural functions of my body. I wish I could be more proud of that, of being a normal, natural woman, a member of the Bleeding Society, which is about 1/3 of world's population, the one thing that connects most women. I wish it wasn't such a taboo, that the ads would show menstrual blood red as it is, that we didn't need to hide and feel embarrassed and grossed out when speaking of it.

I don't know how the rites of First Blood work for other Pagans. I didn't have any and I'm glad for that. I'm glad I had three elder sisters, so that I could steal their pads and things, that I could tell my mother to buy me pads too, when it was time, and she didn't make a fuzz about it. Maybe I would have different relation to my menstruation is she had...

Changing Woman

Red Tide Rising Stories

Blessed by the Moon - Initiation to Womanhood

My Little Red Book

Go our beneath the naked night: Bloody April

So - I have been thinking about the diaper cake, but building this with reusable menstrual pads and such.
The pictures are about diaper cakes, because I haven't seen a pad cake before and I haven't got the time or resources to build one just to illustrate this blog entry, and I don't have kids and my nieces are too old already, so there's no need for this right now, but perhaps I will do that one day.

What do you need?

To build a present cake you will need 3 groups of things:
- the "diapers" - or towels, pads, washcloths, study material or what ever it is you are using.
- the core and building aid, like rubber bands and such
- the decoration

Here's a picture tutorial for "unique" diaper cake. I think the Champagne bottle core is a great idea.

I know, if the girl is 12, it's not a good idea to give her alcohol, but this is her body saying she's an adult... adults do drink. She doesn't need to cork the bottle. She can save it to her 18th birthday or something. But it's a very clear way of telling that she indeed is becoming a grown-up, and to remind her of that it's not only bad things. Not that alcohol is a good thing per se, but it is a symbol of her responsibility of herself and her choices and her body, and what she does with it, and the freedom this responsibility includes. So, don't spoil the gesture by using non-alcoholic champagne or these "funny" champagne bottle bubble baths.

You also need a tray as the bottom for the cake. If you don't glue anything on it, or drill holes in it, you could get a tray the girl will be using in her future home. Trays are nice. Or cake plate

1) the reusable menstrual pads. Why not give the girl a starter kit plus; a dozen of everything, except two dozens of regular menstrual pads. Pantyliners, regular pads, extra liners and night pads. Don't forget the dry-wet-bag.
2) cleaning products. You need some eco-friendly washing detergent and stain removal. A box of salt works miraculously on blood. ;-) Also, add a pack of wet wipes. You can make those yourself.
3) ibuprofen. This was the only thing that gave me any help. Then I got fibromyalgia, and was ordered ketoprofen, which made it dangerous to use any profen at all, and now there's nothing that helps me. But - add a package to the pad cake, just in case.
4) pampering products. Nice soaps, creams and such. Be sure to avoid any antibacterial deodorant soaps for private parts. That leads to nothing but trouble and uncomfort. You can wash the outer area and hair the same way you wash the rest of your body, but never, ever wash the inner labia.
5) pretty underwear.
6) woman things. I don't know what the girl in question sees as things women have, but what ever it is, try to include some in the pad cake. It could be make-up. In my family there was a couple of rules:  the kids were not allowed to drink coffee, or use make-up before they had their Confirmation. Now, Confirmation is a Christian thing, and Pagans don't do that, but the First Blood rite could (and should) be seen as the Confirmation.

You will need things like rubber bands, ribbons, flowers and such to keep the cake together and to decorate it. Choose a theme and stick to it. Red is a good idea :-D So is moon. Or choose both ;-)

How to make roses out of washcloths
Face cloth bunny or duckie

Now I have read the first Percy

and I'm not happy... I mean, I like the book. I think Rick is a great writer. I like the concept of the book and the story. It's his knowledge and attitudes I'm not happy about.

1) the book is telling about a summer of a 12 years old boy. You know, Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets. My Girl. Stand By Me. 6th grade. Preteen. 12.

2) I'm rather angry about the misogyny in the deity attitudes in the book.
- Artemis doesn't have children, because she vow to stay maiden. Athena has, and not only one or two, but "a bunch" of teenaged kids... she's been busy. (Now, they say Athena concieves through some sort of intellectual understanding and is still a maiden, but as Annabeth's father says he would not have managed the College without Athena, I can't understand what She ever saw in the guy. Also, he can't wait to get married and have children with some stupid female. Percy's mother is faithful to Poseidon for at least 12 years, marries this guy just because he reeks so he can hide Percy's demidivinity... Now... as we all know Artemis is lesbian. Why doesn't she "father" children with women through this intellectual understanding Athena uses? I suppose the idea is too controversial and scary for a misogynist like Rick Riordan.
- Aphrodite's and Demeter's children might be able to live in the "real world" without interruptions, because they are not that important... I'd like to remind you of that Aphrodite is the mother of Aeneas.
Who, you might say.
The hero of Aeneid.
What?
The national epos of the Romans.
What?
Equivalent to Iliad and Odyssey.
In other words, Aeneas is a "real powerful force". Not some himbo.
- Demeter and Hera (and Hestia) are Zeus', Poseidon's and Hades' sisters. SISTERS. In other words, just as powerful and important deities. I mean... sure, Zeus got the heaven - and control of weather. Poseidon the sea and earthquakes and such. Hades has the underworld and all souls. Hera has marriage and motherhood, the human regeneration and family... I kind of think that's more important than weather. Demeter is responsible for earth and crops. She feeds every human being on this earth. That's more important to me than some occasional earthquakes and tsunamis. It's not Poseidon who brings fish to the fisherman... it's Thetys. The Lady of the Sea, the Ocean itself. Hestia is responsible for homes and hearths. Aphrodite responds for ALL the feelings and emotions, not only love and sex. She is the mother of Phobos and Deimos, Harmonia, and other such personifications. The Olympian ladies are actually more important to humans than the Olympian lords... Is this considered? No. "Less important". "Childless".
Hera doesn't have children because she's the patron of marriage? It was quite a bit different some 3000 years ago, but today more than half of marriages end in divorce and more than half of the people, both men and women, admit having cheated on their spouses, it would be more fair, honest and truthful and less misogynist to allow Hera the same privileges as Zeus has. After all, she IS the Queen of the Heaven, and if Athena gets to sleep around, so should Hera, and all the other goddesses, AND their children should be considered to be just as important as their cousins and uncles and aunts. Now, I don't have children, but my sister and both my brothers do, and my sister's chidlren are in no way less important, talented, significant and powerful as my brothers' children. The mere suggestion makes me angry.
Also, Hera has mothered several children whose father Zeus is NOT... Parthenogenetic? Or is this a question of keeping the father's identity secret? In any case, it is stupid to see Hera has no children.

Also, Poseidon is married to Amphitrite. If Hera doesn't look at her husband's children with other women kindly, why would Amphitrite? She is the Lady of Seas, which makes it rather difficult for Percy to enter the ocean... But - who cares. After all, we have to make Poseidon likable for the sake of the story, and his "love" to Percy's mother something beautiful, and not just some horny old man's cheating of his wife...
I mean... if the 100 years old virgin vampire stalking a 17 years old girl was creepy, what about thousands of years old god fathering a child with a woman 1/100 of his age?
And what we know of his mother is that she quit High School in her senior year (~18) to look after her uncle, who had cancer, and met Poseidon after her uncle died, got pregnant quickly and was left alone to take care of the child before it was even born. So she was about 20 when this happened, I imagine. I find it hard to take middle-aged men seriously, who claim to see some sort of queendom in young adults, and it's even harder when the "middle-aged man" is a Greek god... who should be seeing the queendom of his own Queen, and not in some human child (which a 20-years-old woman would be to him.) Brr.

So considering this indifference about the "good values" of the male gods, it's offensive, hurtful and deeply misogynist to keep Hera childless because she's matron of marriage. Makes me angry.

Nevertheless, I liked the book and intend to read the next book in the series. Let's see how far I can get until this starts aggravating me more than I can enjoy the books.

Harpies by people who "knew" them...

P.S. Now I have read the books #2 and #3... Some really bad mistakes. (Helle and Frixos, Rick! Not Europe and Cadmus! Cadmus was Helle's and Phrixus' evil stepmother's father, and Europe his sister. Europe got abducted by Zeus and carried over the Mediterranean and thus she gave name to the continent. Helle just gave name to Hellespont which was the place where she drowned as she fell off the ram. That's unforgivable, Rick...)
In book #4 he's getting very close to insulting Hecate. I don't know if I can get over that, if he does. I hope he doesn't.

P.P.S. Something related: True Blood: conflating the Dionysian cult with Satanism