Getting it all done; when homeschooling and housework collide
Kris thinks you can't get it all done.
I say you do.
I also say that if you present yourself as a homeschooling SAHM and get upset when someone says SAHMs don't work, then you MUST "get it all done", otherwise you are just a whiny, lazy, bragging bitch.
I say put your money where your mouth is.
I say you better walk the walk, if you talk the talk.
I say prove it.
Yes, you need to get up at six and you need to go to bed at 10. You might need to give up some of you "own" time, to be able to do all the things you think you should do. Like vacuuming and dusting once a week. You really don't need to watch that soap opera. You really don't need to be at Pinterest for hours. You really don't need to go to all internet forums and social media and make your presence known. You need to homeschool your children and you need to do your housework, if you want to be a homeschooling SAHM. That's your job, you know.
And you chose it yourself.
And
you are trying to pretend it's a real work, and you didn't choose it because you just don't want to work.
So stop whining about how little time you have. People who do REAL work have to take care of their kids and homes on top of the work. They need to cook and clean and do the grocery shopping after work. You do it AS your "work".
And, frankly, if you spent 8 hours every weekday homeschooling and taking care of your home, you wouldn't have any problems what so ever to "get it all done".
Frankly, you would have problems with LACK of things to put in those hours.
AND after having done housework and teaching YOUR children for 8 hours, there's ANOTHER 8 HOURS OF YOUR DAY you get to use in which ever way you want to... except that you don't need to spend one minute on things every REALLY working mom needs to do, like housework, cooking, helping their kids with their homework etc. etc. etc. You have done all that already.
Admit it, your kids don't need you 24/7. Not even when they are babies they need you 24/7! Children sleep at least 2 hours more than you, leaving those two hours for you and your husband to spend with each other. Children also entertain themselves quite a lot when they are awake. They don't need you, and often they don't even want you to play with them. They are quite happy with playing BESIDE you. Just they are in the same room, and you can do what ever you choose to at the same time. Like cooking. Like laundry. Like dishes. None of those jobs requires that you look at what you are doing with 100% concentration. Women aren't really more able to multitask than men. It's quite possible for me to knit, read and watch television at the same time. None of those jobs is difficult, all of those jobs are done in autopilot. Like cleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry. Childrearing... >:->.(Come on, would you actually pay if someone else did that job for you? I mean, more than your husband does... Because, actually your husband does pay you for taking care of his home and children... he actually is your employer, and does pay you.)
Just think about it - your husband is fully capable of
1) driving a car
2) keep an eye on the trafic and traffic signs
3) listening to radio
4) discussing with other people in the car
5) eating and/or drinking
at the same time. Possibly even more stuff. Now, talking in the phone without hands-free or helping a child while driving is not recommended. But quite a lot of us - both men and women - do that too, when they drive, and usually manage to do both, without any accidents or near-accidents happening.
"
SAHMs are lazy..."
Ok... so this lady has five kids, who are old enough to let themselves out to play, and old enough to feed themselves, but don't know how to dress themselves, are incredibly clumsy, don't know how to close doors, don't pick up their things and toys after themselves, don't know how to close the water tap, play with toilet paper, and don't know not to smear toothpaste all over the bathroom...
Yes, she is lazy. And stupid.
So what does she do all days? Walks after her kids and pick up the things they strew around. *sigh*
And the SAHMs laugh at that story. Idiots.
Do these women really believe
that presenting their offspring as ill-mannered, selfish, stupid brats makes them look better?
Or make us appreciate "the hard work they do" more?
P.S. About the "how much is your work as SAHM worth?" thingies...
1) Ok - how do these jobs differ? Why are they counted as separate works?
- housekeeper
- facilities manager
- janitor
- general maintenance worker?
And how many SAHMs do the "general maintenance work" themselves, and not make their husbands do it?
And "plumber" and "groundskeeper"... No. I know of no SAHM who counts these jobs as part of being a SAHM. NOT ONE: If they need a plumber, they call one, if they need groundskeeping, they tell their husband. Pottering in the garden is not "groundskeeping", it's a hobby, and none of us gets paid for taking care of our hobbies.
And "laundry machine operator"... these SAHMs who were interviewed claim to "operate laundry machine" - that is fill it, put in the detergent, pushing a button, hanging clothes to dry (or filling the dryer) and folding/ironing - almost an hour every day. It takes me less than an hour IN A WEEK.
Besides, it's part of housekeeping.
These ladies claim to spend almost 6 hours a day - every day, from monday to sunday, weekdays as well as weekends, in housekeeping, managing and maintaining facilities, janitoring, operating laundry machine and keeping the grounds. That means, that if they start at 9 and work
without stopping to eat, chat with friends, "operate the computer", be with their kids, drive, shop, to do anything else, they are done at 3 p.m.
If you count out the two hours these SAHMs claim they work as "
Day Care Center Teacher", they are done at 5 p.m.
If they spend, let's say, half an hour to make breakfast, and half an hour eating it with her kids, and then another hour for making and eating the lunch, then she's done with housekeeping 7 p.m.
At that time I assume her family will want the dinner, so she needs another hour to make and eat the dinner... so she's done with the housekeeping 8 p.m... and they haven't spend one minute homeschooling or shopping groceries...
Does that sound credible to you? Because it sure doesn't sound credible to me.
These SAHMs also claim that on top of that they spend
- 1 hour 15 minutes a day "operating the computer". (Now, that I believe... >:->)
- 1 hour (and a couple of minutes extra) driving the kids to different activities or to grocery store and back
- 1 hour to work as a psychologist
- 1/2 hour as CEO
- 1/2 hour more on cooking
EVERY DAY. So, if they start at 8 a.m. they are done with the day's work at 11 p.m. and have NOT spend one minute to watch television, to read, to take a bath, to walk the dog, to do their make-up, or to any other activities, than the mentioned.
Credible? No. Not at all.
2) CEO and admin... Ok... so you want to be seen as the GEO of your family... that is, you wish that I look at your family as if it was a business, like, let's say, a restaurant. Now, your children can be seen as the workers of the restaurant. Let's assume that a waitress has a temper tantrum and screams in public. A guest wishes to see the GEO and complains. Are you telling me that you think it's a proper behavior from the GEO to tell the customer to fuck off and shut up, because she/he doesn't have a restaurant of her/his own, and knows nothing about the difficulties of being a restaurant GEO? Really?
No. You are not doing the job of a GEO or Administrative Assistant. Or if you are, your husband is an idiot for paying you to do it, because you suck.
3) You are not a psychologist. One needs to be qualified to do that job to earn the paycheck, and you're not it. If you were, you weren't allowed to work with your own family due to emotional attachment.
You are not a day care center teacher. One needs to be qualified to do that job, too, to earn the paycheck.
You are not a nurse either. It would be nice if you even had a first aid training, but 99% of SAHMs haven't even that.
You are not a nutritionist either. Or a bookkeeper.
Come on, let's not start under-appreciating professionals like psychologists, nurses and teachers, just to boost up your bad self-confidence.
4) Computer operator? What? Bull!
Every SECOND you use "operating the computer" is either leisure (like visiting Pinterest) or a paid work (like upkeeping an income providing blog or internet shop).
5) What I said about pottering in the garden goes for pottering with "interior design". You decorate your home the way you do because you like doing it. Not because someone (your husband) pays you to do it. That's just another hair to split, just to make being a SAHM look more like work.
P.P.S. No, it's not a work. Work is something people are ready to pay you for, and no-one would pay for you to be a SAHM in your own home for your own kids - except you and your husband. And he does that only because he loves you and his children. No-one suffers - except you and your family - if that "job" is not done. No-one is saying it's easy, or not doing anything, or only lazy people become SAHMs, but it's not work. And
calling that statement "domestic violence"... Lady, you are very much out of line. Domestic violence - the REAL thing - is a serious issue, and you are not to compare that to the fact that there are people in the world, and a lot of them, who think being a SAHM is not a work. Get over yourself and your imagined hurts.
