Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Command centers and staging areas :-D

Military has hundreds of years of effective organization habits and inventions. It's a great idea to apply their ideas to the family lives.

To get a family working better, it is good to have a command center.

I prefer my command center to be somewhere centered, undisturbed, where everyone knows the bulletin board is to be found and other important information.
I need a small book shelf, a table, a chair - I think a secretary is great for this purpose.

I have several binders in my command center, one household binder, one for cleaning, home and interior decor, one for bills and guarantees and other such papers and one for all the other important papers.

There needs to be a calendar, with the whole month visible at one glance, and a "week ahead" schedule.

There needs to be the menus and shopping lists

There needs to be a place for the post

There needs to be the chore lists and to do lists.

There needs to be a white or black board for writing notes to the family, and a memo board to put all the important little notes and cards etc. up, so that one knows where to look for them.
There also need to be the whiteboard pens, chalks and other pens close by, easily accessible.

I don't have the gadget charging area in the command center, nor the keys. Those are in the staging area (aka launch pad), which is - and in my opinion should be - separate from the command center. 

In the staging area one empties one's hands as one gets in through the door. There are all the things that are to be taken with one when one leaves home, their bags, keys, wallets, telephones and other such things, sun glasses, hats, and everything else. Because of this, it should be as close the door as possible.
Ours is right next to the door, but the charging center is by our bed, because my bed is my office.
Every member of the family has a basket where they will leave their things, and where the things they need to remember to take with them are left, like lunch etc.
There is also a clip on the door for all the letters to be posted, store bonus coupons and other such things.
I have the library books in the staging area as well. All the library books are in the book shelf in the entryway, they are fetched from there to be read and returned there, and there is also the library bag with a pocket for the library card there, so that it's easy to just take the books and return them-

Declutter your home - flow chart

Of course there are complications, but the main thing is "have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful".
I would also like to add "that makes you feel bad"
. If an item reminds you of unpleasant things or makes you sad, get rid of it. You don't need any reminders of the unpleasant stuff in your life.
If an item reminds you of unpleasant people, get rid of it.
If an item makes you sad, ashamed, angry, afraid, stressed; get rid of it.
If an item doesn't make you glad, happy, pleased, satisfied, calm, at ease, get rid of it.

Get rid of the tons of craft material you are saving "because you could make something out of it". If you don't have a specific use for "it" right now, AND your home is a mess, get rid of it. Give it to someone else to make something of.

Collect all the materials, tools and instructions you need for a project in one place; box or basket or bag. Put a date on it. If you haven't taken the time to finish that, give up. You most likely are NEVER going to finish that. Unless there has been an upheaval in your life, like someone died or you are in the middle of a move or change or work or something other Big, that is the only reason why you "may" hang on to UFOs. (Un-Finished Objects)
These things just weigh you down and give you bad conscience. You don't want that.
I promise you, that when you have cut your "projects to do" list in manageable size, you will be a lot happier and actually will finish the projects you have started. That gives you more self-confident and you will be finishing even more projects. Just be careful not to have mote than five projects at a time. Also, set a deadline. If you haven't finished a project to that date, you most likely never will. Move on.

Don't hang on things you can't use. 
Things have "best before" date. Some things can be fixed to become useful, but there are things that cannot be fixed. If you have something you don't use, think about if you really need to have it.
Why don't you use it?
Is it because it's too small or big, or is complicated and difficult to use, or it's not sharp enough or right size or color or material, doesn't work properly, is broken, dirty, unpleasant to touch, see, use, is associated with an emotional load?
Can you fix it?
If you don't like the thing but need it, can you replace it with something you like?

All the things you decide to keep, gather them in "stations".

Keep all your clothes and all the equipment needed to take care of them in one (or two) places; wardrobe and laundry station. "All the equipment" includes things like clothes brushes and stain removals. The only equipment needed that doesn't need to follow this rule is the sewing machine and all the equipment associated with that, and only if you use it to sew other things. If you only use your sewing equipment to mend your clothes, keep it with the clothes.
The same about the iron. That is good to keep in the laundry station, so that you will iron the clothes before you put them in the closet.

all your cooking things in one place,
all your baking things in one place,
all your paperwork in one place, with a shredder in place over the garbage can so that you will shred the trash post immediately, and with a letter opener to make opening the letters easier.
I have a pot full of bookmarks in my bookshelf. I love bookmarks.
I have all my library books on one shelf, together with the library card and library bags (a couple of sturdy canvas bags... I am a huge user of libraries :-D)

All the things that belong together, that are used together, are kept in one place, in the room where they are used.

Boxes for stuffs

- crap baskets - every person in the household has a basket or a box, where their "lost things" are gathered. Everything found out of place is returned to each person's basket and in the end of the week the people take these things and put them in their right places.

- recycling

- "keep", "give", "toss", "sell", "fix", "return", and "gifts" which in our household is called "the mathom box".
It's best to storage these in a neat container that you can't see through... so that you won't see the things you have already once let go, and get the idea of that you want to save it anyway. Don't.

Things you don't know what to do with

Go through these things with the mindset "would I buy this if I was shopping?". If not, let it go.

The idea with decluttering is not to "live minimalistically because you should", or "you get the bad reputation of a hoarder when you hang on things". You declutter because:

- the more stuff you have, the more difficult it is to keep your home healthy. For you. An unclean and messy home is a home filled with unnecessary health risks.

- the more stuff you have, the less of it you actually can see, use and enjoy of. When you clear up space, you see your things better and can appreciate them. You get the access to your things. You clear up working surface to actually do the things you want to do.

- things get easily spoiled, broken, damaged beyond repair when stored in piles.

- the more stuff you have, the harder it is to keep your home clean, the more work you need to do to clean it, the more time you must waste in cleaning. Decluttered home is easy and quick to clean.

You DON'T NEED to give up all "your stuff". You just need a place for all your stuff, so that it's easily accessible, that you can use it, that you can see it and love it, so that you won't lose it, or break it.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

E squared , experiment 2

I know you want it all, and you want it now.
You don't want to wait for 48 hours, not even 24, not even 2.

The purpose with the first experiment was that there is a force out there that actually hears you.

The purpose with the second experiment is that you start noticing what happens around you.
It's basic psychology. It's pretty common knowledge that women who have just found out they are pregnant, see pregnant women and mothers with babies everywhere. You will see what you are looking.

So, if you don't see something you are actively looking, (when it's something as normal and general as blue cars or yellow butterflies) you are not looking. You might not find your keys, but if you are looking for keys, any keys, you will see keys. Pictures of keys, things shaped as keys, real, actual keys.
If you don't, there's another basic psychological phenomenon in action.

It's a bit like your mind is layered. There's the conscious thinking, subconscious, you know. You know that sometimes you are irrationally scared or moved by something, not knowing yourself why you react emotionally. It's a bit like you are more aware of your subconscious than your conscious mind. You can lie to yourself with your inner voice, but your subconscious hears only the truth.

If you are going through this book with the idea of that it's full bull and you KNOW it won't work, you will find evidence of that.
If you believe it's true, you will find evidence of that.
You will find evidence to support anything you believe.

This is not some magic hocuspocus scam, this is basic psychology.

Now, the fact that you see what you are thinking of, isn't any proof of anything, except that you will see what you want to see.

So - magic hocuspocus scam... the psychology behind these books is sound. The authors might just not know it, or they might be using words that make it hard for you to actually understand what they are saying...
But - let's look at this from the purely scientific point of view.

The book - and it's kind - are very nicely leading the readers into a certain mindset - the mindset of activity. The mindset of bravery - doing even when one is afraid. Risking knowing that good outcome is just as probable as bad outcome. Trying to get us shaken out of the passive, submissive, victim mentality, trying to manipulate things by pretending to be weaker, lesser, more needy, in such a degree one believes it to be true; codependency. (Most women in the world has been taught this for some 2000 years. We have learned.)
There's nothing negative, bad, dangerous, despicable in this mindset, nothing magical, supernatural, paranormal, superstitious or anything unnatural with this. God or some metaphysical force of Universe (written with a capital initial) is not involved. It's still basic psychology.

But because we have been well trained, we need the permission from someone, something higher and more powerful than any authority in our palpable world. We need to be able to leave the responsibility to someone else, because we aren't really allowed to think for ourselves, we aren't allowed to feel good about our choices, what we choose to wear, eat, read, do. By whom? By God, by our parents, by our husbands, friends, teachers, bosses, co-workers, society, world, media, magazines...

Anyway, this book gives us the permission. This book tells us that we not only may, we should. We should go for happiness. We should go for what we think makes us happy. We should dare to believe our dreams are possible.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

E Squared, Experiment 1

There are two popular ideas circulating the "spiritual community"; Ego and Karma.
I don't believe in either.

I believe our wishes, dreams, hopes, ideas, wants etc. are specific and unique to each of us.
I believe we are here to live, to feel, to sense, to emote. I believe we have a body with senses so that we use it. I believe we have a body with hormones and emotions so that we use them. We are not to deny the desires and lusts of this sensual body we have, because we have it just for that reason.
I believe people who try to reach Nirvana and stop existing in a physical body has gravely misunderstood the idea of life and physical body.

I believe in "muscle testing" and testing our body reactions to know if an idea or suggestion is a good and sound one. Without a body we can't do this.

I believe in "I". I believe we ARE separate from everyone else, even though we are united, connected and the same. Same, same but different.
I believe this "me" existence has a purpose.
Because I believe in God and I know nothing happens without a purpose, and that God has ways of turning everything to good.
"Everything will be fine in the end. If it's not OK, good and fine and right, it's not in the end."

Maybe it's just that I haven't understood the concept of Ego as the New Age community understands it, because I don't believe things like narcissism, psychopathy, "power of the weak" manipulating, Ayn Rand pragmatism and machiavellianism are beneficial for anyone.
Nevertheless, I believe we must love ourselves and remind ourselves of our good qualities.
I believe manifesting won't work without ego, I, me, and being in me, being ME.
I believe our primary obligation is to take care of ourselves. I believe people who are codependent and always think about someone else or others first, are lost. I believe the classic idea of self-sacrificing mother is very, very wrong.
I believe there should be limits to kindness, generosity, friendliness, giving, considering other people's feelings, respect, and other such qualities. I am not to make a doormat of myself. I am not to become codependent, but interdependent, independent, self-confident. I am to be kind and generous toward ME first, to be able to give anything to anyone else.
I don't believe in victim mentality and the idea of that I NEED to manipulate others to get my needs satisfied. I believe it's better to satisfy my needs and do what it takes to get my needs satisfied in a healthy manner, without manipulations and using others and expecting others to do this, or expecting some karma or rule of three or any other such "people do to you what you do to them" idea.
People are not kind to you because you are kind, they are kind to you because THEY are kind. You can't manipulate people to be kind to you.
I don't believe in fulfilling my needs and wishes at the cost of others' needs and wishes. I believe my rights end where yours begin, and no-one has any rights that violate anyone else's rights. I believe the Universe is limitless, abundant and naturally generous and giving. I believe even our most magnificous dreams are just a drop in the ocean of the abundance of the Universe. I don't believe we can ask for ANYTHING that would deplete the resources of the Universe.
Another thing I don't believe in is "reality", in the way "you need to be realistic". I believe in fantasy, imagination and magic. I believe in fairies. I believe in the kind of world Findhorn founders talked about, with other dimensions and other lifeforms and that there is more that can't be seen, measured, tested, controlled than what can. I believe the world is like an onion except reversed - what's in the inside is bigger than what's in the outside.

I don't believe in blaming anyone. I believe in taking responsibility, sure, but it's more important to DO and try to correct, try to fix, try to clean up, without caring whose fault it was. I don't care whose fault or responsibility it is. I don't care whose duty it is to fix it. I believe if one sees something wrong, one needs to right it. If we wait and expect "someone" to take care of things, and not do it ourselves, nothing will be taken care of, and I believe everyone is better off when things are taken care of.

I believe hostility is part of "being closed", and that quality is not just bad. I believe the feelings and ideas behind the hostility are sound and good; taking care of oneself and people who are important to one, and so on. I believe our world is in circles and one cannot and should not expand from one circle to the next before one is ready. The innermost circle includes only "me". The next one is my "family". Then comes our "friends". Then comes the community one lives in, and that circle goes from neighborhood to village to county to country to continent to planet to Universe...

Anyway... I could be speaking about this until the cows come home, but this is not what this blog post is about.

E Squared Experiment #1

The idea of the experiment is to open your eyes and start seeing good things that happen to me. It's to start appreciating the goodness we already have in our life. It's starting to notice all the hundreds of ways how God tells us that She loves us, every day.

I already have so much of goodness in my life, and it started to feel like the Universe is just laughing at me for expecting it to give me a gift when we both are so aware of that the Universe showers me with gifts 24/7.

So I was pretty p'd off yesterday, screaming to the Universe to give me something REALLY BIG, because I have been a good girl and I believe... and this morning I realized the Universe had given me something REALLY BIG. Something I won't tell you what it is, because it's private. I can tell you that it's not material, and it's something I have been praying for for years.