Thursday, June 4, 2009

Course of Miracles

I heard of the Course of Miracles, of course, saw the big books on the shelf of the bookstore, heard a lot of amazing things told about it. I read Marianne Williamson's Return to Love and loved it. I have a tiny book of quotes from Course of Miracles in my handbag. So - I was really excited to find the book in our local library.
I started to read... and I am disappointed, suspicious, reluctant, displeased, upset... It's like reading Neale Donald Walsh' Conversations with God.

I am disappointed because the book is a weird combination of New Age and very conservative Christianity with a twist of Indian philosophies.

"Miracles bear witness to truth. They are convincing because they arise from conviction. Without conviction they deteriorate into magic, which is mindless, and therefore destructive; or rather, the uncreative use of mind"
I am a witch. I believe in magic with every fiber of my being. So I am "mindless and therefore destructive"? And I use my mind uncreatively? Insulting people won't help them understand what you are trying to say.

Magic IS creation. Creation is magic. Magic is bending the reality to fit your idea of what the reality should be. Praying is magic. Positive thinking is magic. Affirmations are magic. The Secret is magic. The Law of Attraction is magic. Miracles are magic.
The idea of what the reality should be is put in people by God, the ultimate Magician, the Creator.

This is what I believe, and these are the words I choose to use to express my beliefs. I KNOW I am right, and this is Truth.
At the same time, *I* am fully aware of that you might choose different words to express your beliefs, and *I* know that just because you use different words it doesn't mean that there would be anything wrong with your understanding of the Truth. Now - what gives you the right to question my words and my understanding? That is just the sort of arrogance, ignorance, intolerance and pride I hate with certain people...

Also - one of the things I hated with Conversations with God was that Neale Donald Walsh seemed to be flabberghasted by the FACT that God is there, a turn away... we can't see Her, because we are looking in the wrong direction, we can't talk with Her, because we believe She doesn't listen or won't answer anyway, so we don't even try; we can't feel Her, because we won't erect our arm and touch Her. I am sitting here in the presence of God and I feel it, I sense it, I know it... Nevertheless, Neale didn't know this. He wrote SEVERAL books about the subject and people are all amazed and blah blah blah...

But the Course of Miracles states: "without me (Jesus), the distance between God and man would be too great for you to encompass"


I am in direct contact with God. I talk with God every day. I am part of God's creation and there is no doubt in my mind of that God loves ME the way I am, that in God's eyes I am perfect, just the way She intended me to be, and there is NO --- DISTANCE BETWEEN ME AND GOD!!!

My mother - a devote Christian - laughed when I told her that I don't NEED Jesus to die for me. Poor woman... I am fully prepared to take any and every consequence of my sins myself, thank you, and I don't want anyone to come and try to steal my obligations. I am not afraid of God. God loves me, God knows exactly, better than I do, why I did what I did, God knows what goes on inside my head, mind, spirit, soul and heart - inside me. What do I have to fear? MY God is just and loving, I deserve everything She gives me, good and bad, and I have NEVER got anything but good from Her. Why would everything change when I die? Are you suggesting that life is some sort of refuge from GOD? That She is a devious bitch, lullying me into false security just to give me hell when I leave this life? No wonder you are all afraid to die! But - that's your God, not mine, and I assume you understand - if you think a little - why I am not interested in changing my religion...

But, but... *sigh* I am going to read this book and try my best to translate it into my language and find the reason to why I was so interested in it, why I was so excited to find it and why I carried it home with joy... but I have to say, it's one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Dang, I should be writing these books!

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