There are two popular ideas circulating the "spiritual community"; Ego and Karma.
I don't believe in either.
I believe our wishes, dreams, hopes, ideas, wants etc. are specific and unique to each of us.
I believe we are here to live, to feel, to sense, to emote. I believe we have a body with senses so that we use it. I believe we have a body with hormones and emotions so that we use them. We are not to deny the desires and lusts of this sensual body we have, because we have it just for that reason.
I believe people who try to reach Nirvana and stop existing in a physical body has gravely misunderstood the idea of life and physical body.
I believe in "muscle testing" and testing our body reactions to know if an idea or suggestion is a good and sound one. Without a body we can't do this.
I believe in "I". I believe we ARE separate from everyone else, even though we are united, connected and the same. Same, same but different.
I believe this "me" existence has a purpose.
Because I believe in God and I know nothing happens without a purpose, and that God has ways of turning everything to good.
"Everything will be fine in the end. If it's not OK, good and fine and right, it's not in the end."
Maybe it's just that I haven't understood the concept of Ego as the New Age community understands it, because I don't believe things like narcissism, psychopathy, "power of the weak" manipulating, Ayn Rand pragmatism and machiavellianism are beneficial for anyone.
Nevertheless, I believe we must love ourselves and remind ourselves of our good qualities.
I believe manifesting won't work without ego, I, me, and being in me, being ME.
I believe our primary obligation is to take care of ourselves. I believe people who are codependent and always think about someone else or others first, are lost. I believe the classic idea of self-sacrificing mother is very, very wrong.
I believe there should be limits to kindness, generosity, friendliness, giving, considering other people's feelings, respect, and other such qualities. I am not to make a doormat of myself. I am not to become codependent, but interdependent, independent, self-confident. I am to be kind and generous toward ME first, to be able to give anything to anyone else.
I don't believe in victim mentality and the idea of that I NEED to manipulate others to get my needs satisfied. I believe it's better to satisfy my needs and do what it takes to get my needs satisfied in a healthy manner, without manipulations and using others and expecting others to do this, or expecting some karma or rule of three or any other such "people do to you what you do to them" idea.
People are not kind to you because you are kind, they are kind to you because THEY are kind. You can't manipulate people to be kind to you.
I don't believe in fulfilling my needs and wishes at the cost of others' needs and wishes. I believe my rights end where yours begin, and no-one has any rights that violate anyone else's rights. I believe the Universe is limitless, abundant and naturally generous and giving. I believe even our most magnificous dreams are just a drop in the ocean of the abundance of the Universe. I don't believe we can ask for ANYTHING that would deplete the resources of the Universe.
Another thing I don't believe in is "reality", in the way "you need to be realistic". I believe in fantasy, imagination and magic. I believe in fairies. I believe in the kind of world Findhorn founders talked about, with other dimensions and other lifeforms and that there is more that can't be seen, measured, tested, controlled than what can. I believe the world is like an onion except reversed - what's in the inside is bigger than what's in the outside.
I don't believe in blaming anyone. I believe in taking responsibility, sure, but it's more important to DO and try to correct, try to fix, try to clean up, without caring whose fault it was. I don't care whose fault or responsibility it is. I don't care whose duty it is to fix it. I believe if one sees something wrong, one needs to right it. If we wait and expect "someone" to take care of things, and not do it ourselves, nothing will be taken care of, and I believe everyone is better off when things are taken care of.
I believe hostility is part of "being closed", and that quality is not just bad. I believe the feelings and ideas behind the hostility are sound and good; taking care of oneself and people who are important to one, and so on. I believe our world is in circles and one cannot and should not expand from one circle to the next before one is ready. The innermost circle includes only "me". The next one is my "family". Then comes our "friends". Then comes the community one lives in, and that circle goes from neighborhood to village to county to country to continent to planet to Universe...
Anyway... I could be speaking about this until the cows come home, but this is not what this blog post is about.
E Squared Experiment #1
The idea of the experiment is to open your eyes and start seeing good things that happen to me. It's to start appreciating the goodness we already have in our life. It's starting to notice all the hundreds of ways how God tells us that She loves us, every day.
I already have so much of goodness in my life, and it started to feel like the Universe is just laughing at me for expecting it to give me a gift when we both are so aware of that the Universe showers me with gifts 24/7.
So I was pretty p'd off yesterday, screaming to the Universe to give me something REALLY BIG, because I have been a good girl and I believe... and this morning I realized the Universe had given me something REALLY BIG. Something I won't tell you what it is, because it's private. I can tell you that it's not material, and it's something I have been praying for for years.