Sunday, September 16, 2007

Birth control, abortion...

"Last night, I had dinner with my six youngest children at a restaurant (ages 6 to 22). It had been a long time since we were all at one table. I loved every minute of reminiscing and laughter. Midway though the meal I realized and announced, “If I practiced birth control, I would be the only one at this table right now!”"

Her six youngest? How many kids does she have?

I got offended...
I am against abortion, but I am for abortion as an option. It's not my job, place or business to decide whether other people go through their pregnancies or not.
But birth control? That's the best thing ever invented! Of course, there's a lot of promiscuity as consequence, but millions of women have been saved thanks to birth control, and that's more valuable than some forced moral problems. Sex is a lovely thing, and every adult should be able to enjoy it without fearing the society's condemnation or other unwanted consequences. Pregnancy related deaths are a big problem in the world today, and was even bigger before the invention of birth control. Also, condoms protect you from STDs. (Which any existing or non-existing foreskin or hymen doesn't do...)

This woman is happy for her 11 children - I would be too - but she is privileged. So am I.

My husband loves me and would love all our children - so does her husband. There are millions of women out there whose husbands - or fathers of their children - do not love them.

I am well educated, can read and write, can speak several languages and live in a country where freedom of opinion, speech, religion etc. is self-evident benefit. I am fairly intelligent, and would be able to homeschool my children. So is she. Millions of women are not educated at all, can't read or write, can speak only their mothertongue and don't enjoy the freedom of speech - they wouldn't even get a hearing at home.

I am an emancipated woman, living in a society, where my worth is not necessarily bound to my gender. The whole world is open for me, I can become what ever I want. So does she. There's millions of women whose worth is to breed and take care of the household. They are forced to breed from the day they are able to, often force-married to someone lot older than they, raped, beaten to submission...

The Western women's life was very much like that only 100 years ago - before the invention and availability of birth control.

The main thing is that I have a choice.
I can CHOOSE to use birth control.
I can CHOOSE to abort a pregnancy that is going to kill me.
I can CHOOSE to have sex.
I can CHOOSE to stay home and take care of it and my children.
This CHOICE is what women all over the world NEED.

Another thing, "I have experienced the deepest hurt when our adult children have not understand my spiritual beliefs or convictions."

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-- Kahlil Gibran

My children are not MINE. It's their life, their choices, even when it comes to things important to me. Of course I'd want all my children to follow the same path I do, but it's not my decision - it's not their decision either, I believe. They were born on the path, and I - or anyone else - have no right to try to seduce them from that path! So I have no reason, no justification, no sense in getting hurt when they disagree with me.

1 comment:

Caroline Tully said...

Hear Hear!!! I agree with all that. We absolutely do need to be able to restrict pregnancy/birthing if that is our choice.